My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 5

[joejoe1]

Ovr,

Blu hit the nail on the head. I'm in the same opinion as her. I think I could have taken a more time for myself before my wife and I decided to move forward with our M. I has been bumpy, but we are moving along. Give yourself time, please.

Your WW is pulling your right back in. She plays the same script and plays on you. She senses you pulling away then she comes in hard making declarations and you sit back and wait to see if she fulfills them. That play has worked on you multiple times. You have to let go this time, you have to fully drop the rope. Your WW knows what your boundaries are. Instead of telling her what she needs to do, this time you move forward with your life until she shows you with action that she is going to respect you and your boundaries. You have given her countless amount of chances with no changes from her. So, IMHO it's time to shut down her playbook and you need to move forward, with or without her. If she is really serious about being with you, she will come chasing, while at the same time putting in the work. But as long as your are sitting back waiting, she doesn't have to put in any work and she knows that. And she knows you are waiting because you have now told her if she does XY&Z then you will consider the M.

I also loved that you stood up for yourself as well and made your demands clear!!!!!!

Work on healing yourself. Find a way to let go of the anger, I didn't give myself time to heal properly and I'm still holding on to anger. It has caused a lot of setbacks for my Sitch.

If you truly love your W, you will let go of that rope that you and her have been tugging on, so she can grow and you can heal!!!!! The hardest steps in loving a person is not the holding on part, it will always be the letting go!!!!!