Does anyone have experience/advice for breaking the news of separation to children around 9 and 7 years old?
Kate - I think there are 2 important things to reassure your kiddos about. First, that what is happening is in no way their fault. Kids take blame onto themselves easily, even if they don't say it or show it. So, this reassurance will need to be reinforced along the way. Second, kids want to know how it will affect them. How will their life change? I would reinforce that even though dad won't be living there, they will still have both of you to talk to any time (or you if you don't think your H will be available or willing for this), they will still have their home, school, friends, etc.
I'm so sorry you will be facing this. I had a lot of anxiety before I told my kids, and they are grown up! It is not easy. My son especially wanted to know the reasons. I just said It was private, but did share with them I thought their dad was depressed and he had a lot to work out on his own. I also shared that I did not want a divorce, and am hoping we can heal and live a happy life together. If you both can do it together so the kids are reassured you are both there for them, that is best.
