I know everything is relative it's just so hard and stupid for someone to ruin our LIFE "plans". I know life isn't to be planned to begin with but out of all the things that people have a choice in, vs. the things that truly are beyond our control (illness, etc.), I totally feel choices like this that affect others they way they do should be downright illegal!
This right here is us (you and me both) knowing this lesson logically vs learning it for real. We knew this before - that life can and will be hard. But now we're being smacked in the face with it. Every person on earth needs this lesson and it comes in different forms. This is ours.
Originally Posted by TJT
I am going to have to do a lot of work to get over my disdain that the person I will be from now on in any relationship is going to be a different person that I never expected I'd have to be. I need to find the good in that instead of thinking that I will just be "damaged". I need to find a way to be okay with this being a part of my life story, and to that end I need to be patient because I know it may take a while for all of this to form into a cohesive plot that makes sense to me.
I could have written this. This is fear of the unknown you - you should not be afraid of your (future) self. But you're right - we don't know who we will be in our next R, and we may like that person better. Just because we lost our ability to trust completely does not mean we will never feel light or giddy or trusting again. It just will be different. Perhaps fuller, because we know we carry precious cargo. We know the full weight of what we hold.
The lows may be lower, but I fully believe our highs will be higher.
