Finding the Balance then Tipping the Scale (TWO)

[Adam04]

Ok, this is just very weird.

You aren't separated yet. By assuming that you are going to separate, you are believing what she says. Don't believe anything she says. You are bringing life to this story.

If I'm reading you correctly, you want to separate, but it seems like only because she does. If you are dead set on separating, why are you waiting? I wonder the same thing about your W. I don't (and your W won't) believe that you are separating on your terms, and not hers, if you are waiting to separate now.

But, you're in a tough spot where you are, rightfully, trying to stop the cake eating. Her wanting to phase you out while still enjoying the family life is tough.

Hey ovrrnbw,
It's IHS. Separate bedrooms. I'm in MBR. What do you mean by assuming we will separate I'm believing her? Just curious since I am not understanding fully.

I'm preparing to physically separate from her when we sell the house. I've always thought about leaving early since day 1 from BD but I didn't want to do it based on emotion. Had I done that I would have picked a crime filled area with the cheapest rent near work with no safety consideration for my kids. I'm glad I didn't do that as one of the ladies here lives in the apt I was looking at and said it's in the hood. I'm not keen on apt near work.

To answer your question on why wait? Finances. We dumped all our money into new house being built and when I started separate account it was from scratch and I have a lot of money going out. Last car repair was 3k out the pocket and I am saving for a new car as well. I have been thinking about what it looks like if I move out early. Realistically that may be May.

I've been apartment hunting in some of my free time.

Here's my options, wait til we move out this house which sends no msg.
Move out early. Either tell her or wait til she's at work and move my stuff and have her come home to find out. Don't know what this will do to kids. One reason why I want to figure out what to tell them soon. If I don't tell her it could send her all types of msg.
Don't do anything and think we will continue IHS in new house.

Earlier in my posts I was wanting to move out and do things for the wrong reasons like to see if they have an affect on her when I came to the forums. Prior to DB, I wanted to move out because I was hurt and didn't want to be with her. It's not separating because she wants it. I don't know what she wants right now but I can't sit idle.

Most likely I will move out on March and have some cushion after talking to a lawyer. Since we selling home don't think it will matter much later about who stays in it during the last month. Mulling this over vs staying to end.

Hope that helps.