Whirlwind of Hurt 6

[Twofeet]

ST,

I was always bettering me for myself, but if I am being honest there was a voice in the back of my head driving me to do it for her as well. I guess you could say having an expectation. W moving out was in itself devastating. However, once she moved out, I set the tone and the house was more peaceful. My young children take about an hour to adjust to the tone once I have them. From then on its usually pretty smooth sailing as far as little ones go. What I also appreciate about W leaving is I am left alone to grieve and sort through my own emotions. It hurts and is a hard process, but I am working through it. You can see what really gets me going is my interactions with W or new info I learn that while I assumed was true I was basically in denial about. Looking at it from a birds eye view her interactions with me are basically veiled attempts to control me at some level. I easily resist them and outwardly appear unphased, but internally I get rocked. I think this is why detachment is so important.