So he is a coward ... ... and the feeling of guilt and not wanting to face any reminders of what he has done was stronger than the desire to spend Christmas with his children ... who btw are now at the age where Christmas is still magical but in a few years, it will stop being so.
I would not miss these last years of childhood for anything. I went to the family boxing day lunch yesterday because my children love going and they love seeing us all together. They have my H's sense of family. I would not take that away from them. My H wasn't there (he had to work) so it was his parents, his sisters family, his sisters husbands parents and his sisters husbands sister and husband. No-one mentioned H wasn't there. No-one mentioned H had moved out. It was uncomfortable because I have not seen most of them since last boxing day, and the fact that we had split up hung over the room like a smelly elephants fart, but I smiled, I took the looks of pity, made jokes where appropriate, and said, when asked "how was your Christmas", "It was great thanks. The kids had a wonderful day ... D12 got a blah blah blah".
You do it for the kids. You put up with the discomfort and the looks so they have positive memories from the childhood. It is a hard time for them, the best we can do is make it as normal as possible. Change will happen inevitably - I can't imagine I will do Christmas next year, or be invited to boxing day lunch again, but if the changes happen gradually, then they will cope better. Terrible analogy but like the frog in the boiling water - as long as the water doesn't get too hot too quickly, the children will have time to get use to it.
