You have to understand...the wall that she has built up around her may have crumbled just a wee bit during the visit and the MLCer can't have that. Why? Because, in their minds, they have to have justification for leaving because all of the blame tends to be pointed to us and the relationship. So, in order to maintain her distance from you and the family, she has to be mean and angry to get through her day around you. If she had softened up during the visit, she would have been emotional and it would have made her stop and think about what was and not how things are today. This journey is about HER, not YOU! You didn't break her, therefore you can't fix her.
Trying to analyze the whys and what fors will drive you insane. You did nothing wrong and you have to accept that. Whatever happened to her, happened when she was a child. Depression is about things of the past and anxiety is about things of the future. Anger is part of the depression.
Be there for your children. Love them and let them know that they are loved by both of you, regardless of how she behaved. Keep the focus on you and your children and do what you need to do to survive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
