Divorce and Acceptance part 3

[Pax_luv]

Hello,
Hope the holiday season is bringing good cheer to everyone.

Popping in for an unrelated post. I had a lovely Christmas surrounded by so many loved ones. Our family has evolved over the last few years (as it does), but this year was slightly more settled than years passed. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the family.

One thing that has me concerned is my dad’s dependence on alcohol. It has gotten worse over the years and with the amount of time I’ve spent with him the last few days, it is a reminder that it’s not getting better. He’s in his 60s, was kind of forced into retirement via disability. He had a stroke in his ocular nerve many years ago and hasn’t worked since. His family has a history of bad hearts and all siblings had their first heart attacks before the age of 50. I never met my grandfather (dad’s dad) because he passed away from a massive heart attack before I was born.

In any case, he starting drinking more and more over the years. Depression set in (though he totally masks sadness) and started drinking beer during the day. Then it became more excessive use of hard alcohol and now I think he can’t get through the day without it.

Yesterday at Christmas morning breakfast, he had his coffee, but mostly it was hard liquor with a splash of coffee and it continued through the day. He’s not beligerent or violet. If anything he’s a happy drunk that wants to have a good time... but it’s a terrible way to live. He’s gotten into exercise the last year and is really strong and fit. I was hoping that was him making the choice to improve his life... but one hasn’t had the impact on the other.

So I get how dB almost mirrors the practice of dealing with alcoholics. Detach, don’t enable, etc. But it does scare me how damaging this all is and I wish I could do something before he ends up dead. Clearly strokes and heart attacks aren’t enough to scare him into making better choices than this. I also understand this is a disease that Likely renders him powerless to recognize how damaging it is.

So... anyone deal with this? And have any advice?