13 years and 2 kids pt. 4.

[Hurt213]

LH,

Thank you, it has been way better than I had dared to hope for.

Custody arrangement is settled and has been signed. We are basically only waiting for the house to sell and then thats the final period sign in this long and draining session of dissolving me and her. I am working with my IC in regards to several things that are on my 180 list, a lot of these are "products" from a long time depression that I was unaware of, and therefore it shaped some really unappreciative traits onto me, and those I am now unraveling slowly but with great success. Its basically about knowing and showing, that I am good enough, and I have nothing that I need to prove to anyone. It has been extensive work, and still is because I have been trying to navigate between, not caring, having given up on my dreams and wants, to going completely opposite and being a nice guy but without a care for my own expectations and needs, a complete pleaser, and thats super unhealthy.

I am at the beginning, but having realized what I need to work with, has slowly but steady given me some tools to reflect on my decisions, my wants and my needs - and would you know it, there are actually things I want and need, I just somehow forgot about them down the road. Future looks bright even though its misty right now.