I am glad to read that Christmas came and went w/o a lot of headaches. Yes, your h is struggling in many ways, He's got a lot of work to do and his mind is a total mess. It's the depression that is fueling his struggles. They do think of doom and gloom quite often and more so at night when everything is quiet and they have nothing to calm their minds and they actually have to deal w/the wheels turning w/o any distractions.
He's still got a long way to go and he hasn't hit the very deep, dark depression yet. That will come along about the time as the withdrawal hits him. He will need to have plenty of time and space to deal w/those demons and yes, come full circle and accept the things that he can't change from his childhood.
I think you were very wise in taking that walk this morning. You need to enjoy nature and the quiet time to recharge your batteries. God is always working on people and especially those who are in crisis. He will heal your h and give him the direction he needs. For now...he needs lots of space and time.
Keep the focus on you and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
