Your wife could be in crisis. If she is, the anger is being fueled by her because she thinks she missed out on something along the way. You have to understand...it's not you, but her. The only way that she thinks that she can get to where she needs to be is to be angry. She can't allow herself to be calm and settled because deep down, she knows that is she isn't angry, she can't move forward w/a divorce.
Right now, all that matters is that you focus on you and your life. You didn't break her, therefore you can't fix her. No matter what you did or didn't do, she wouldn't be happy. It's all about what transpired when she was a child. She's suffered from being emotionally stunted a long time ago and actually needs to find herself and grow up.
Dig deeper for patience and try to keep the focus on you. That is what is important right now. Leave her to stew in her own little world.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
