Earlier this morning, W was feeding YS. I don’t have the equipment for that, and he doesn’t like bottles, so I decide to get on with GAL and I put on workout clothes and go downstairs to our common area exercise room.
I tell W: I’m gonna go downstairs and hop on the bike.
W: How long will you be gone?
Me: I dunno, about 30 minutes (?) [yes, I know—probably shouldn’t have answered]
Once I’m out of visual range, W: Does this mean I get to go for a run today?
What I should have done was kept stepping; but, I went back and I told her ‘It’s possible.’
Hit the bike for about 20 minutes, did 30 pushups and 25 of the butterfly sit-ups that A/S recommended. I look and feel so much better.
I get back upstairs, and I see that OS needs something. I go to help, but W tells me in a very annoyed tone “Just go do whatever you need to do.”
Me, inside: Okay.
So I throw in a load of my laundry, re-load dishwasher, and wrap Christmas gifts.
YS was in a high chair with W and OS, but I go grab him later. W: Are you done with everything you need to do?
Me: Yes, but now I need to take [YS] and be with him for a little bit.
Basically, W has bent out of shape that I just up and went for a workout this morning, and she was pi*sy towards me for a good portion of the day.
Later on, she told me she wanted to go for a run and a workout.
W (paraphrasing): I’ve been trying to go get in a workout for however long, but I can’t because you always seem to have something else to do. I shouldn’t have to ask you for permission, especially since you just seem to do what you want when you want.
Me (attempting to validate): I’m sorry you feel that way, but I need to go help [OS] clean up. (And I hit the eject button on that convo as soon as I could.)
I did my best with validating her today, especially trying what Adam suggested, the “you know what, you’re right...” to try to defuse things with her. It’s quickly becoming a go-to.
Man was she bent out of shape about this. Especially when she will start back at work part-time on Wednesday, and she’ll be staying late to go work-out, and I’ll be with the boys as I’m on Christmas Break the next two weeks. I provide tons of free child-care for holiday breaks, random days off, not to mention summer. If she ever decides to leave, she’ll have to figure something else out.
She has no problem taking time out for what she wants to do—staying late for workouts or this or that or the other, or this past Saturday she takes the boys to the park with her mom and I’m left her by myself. Luckily, I tried to GAL as much as I could. HOW DARE YOU GAL WHEN I TOLD YOU I’VE WANTED OUT.
At no point, ever, have I prevented her from getting a workout in. Now she’s mad? My eyes cannot roll far enough back into my head.
Obviously I’ll try to parent up a storm while she’s back to work, but I find it rich that she’s bent.
