I wish to pass on some thoughts from one of your recent posts. I most definitely do not want to take away from the enjoyment of Christmas, this is just something to think about and maybe look at in the new year. If I was to wait, I’d probably forget.
Originally Posted by marina7
D10 had an emotional breakdown, W doesn't listen to us Is always about her girlfriend is like she loves her more than us. I hate it mommy why does W always treats girlfriend and believes girlfriend
I just listen to d10 and just hug her.
Kids will let us know what they want and need to talk about. We need to be willing to discuss it with them. I know you love your kids, I know you care.
D10 is right, W does love girlfriend more than kids - infatuation will do that. W’s fantasy is more alluring than just about anything else in her life. Your D10 sees this; that little girl is very perceptive and observant. She needs you to talk to her, validate her feelings and observations. Doing nothing would dismiss her feelings. I know how difficult a conversation kids can initiate.
When explaining infatuation and W’s actions just keep the conversation in the intellectual realm, keep your emotions out of it. Your D10 is just looking for answers, reasons - like all of us. You can provide kid appropriate reasoning and alleviate a lot of their concerns and fears. Remember kids think everything revolves around them, and everything involves them - they will place blame and feelings of self doubt on themselves if no alternative is offered. This situation is most definitely not about them or their fault, and they need to know that.
Encourage D10 to be inquisitive and observant, that is such a gift for her to have.
Again, this is nothing to rush off and do. Just some ideas from a friend.
I wish you and your kids all the best and a very Merry Christmas.
Love
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
