New thread- Newcomer pre-bomb drop

[Adam04]

hi Bern,

First, enjoy the holidays for the kids and for your own self. Step back and allow yourself some breathing room, pretty much the 4 things Sandi last said in the previous thread. You said this is normally your time. Happiness is what you make it, don't let her rob this from you man. This should still be your time. Set the tone for the kids. Show her she will not bring you down.

So she is still trying to cover up all those meet-ups/hook-ups, saying it was to let OM know the A was over? And on top of this, she has a list of friends who know so she is trying to figure out which one betrayed her? wow... She is such the victim. I wonder what he went into the store to pick up since they were already there.

Be strong Bern, don't let your thoughts about not believing in D affect your judgement. Don't settle. You got the ball rolling now, give yourself until after the holidays. if you have a list of things you feel like saying to her or doing, feel free to share them here for advice.

I'm one of the guys in an IHS, I'm codependent NGS. I'm moving out in 5 months when we sell the house so the IHS is not indefinite. I'm also free from her in the sense that I'm okay with if we D. I know life goes on. We both deserve to be happy. I have too many D'd people I know in my life who are still great parents. Less on her, more on you and the kids.

I've read a lot of sitches here, much of what people say wont change because the patterns don't change and what we need to do for ourselves don't change.

Happy Holidays.