Uncertain of What I Have (Thread 3)

[Adam04]

Hey Bo,

Happy holidays! That's awesome with the teaching. I always wanted to be an art professor/art teacher with summers off doing exhibits. My mother's best friend was a teacher. She helped to raise me. My mentors have been teachers. To help prevent NGS, we need more male teacher role models!

I think I am familiar with the other book titles with NMMNG. Haven't read them yet. I started reading ILYBINILWY alongside DR and stopped because it felt like there were too many exercises to do with the willing spouse and I have no willing spouse. This is a solo deal. Working on me and then seeing how that goes.

Thanks for taking the time to respond to everything. Hope it was a little therapeutic for you.
I get what you are saying about the job and the work wife. Unfortunately I have one of those friends at work who'll say something like aww you're so nice, you my work hubby. I jokingly tell her that's the last time I do anything for her then or I say I'll tell her H, who knows of me. Been working with this lady for 12 years at least. In my department alone, there are 25 women and I'm the only male.

You're doing great. For you to know what you want to address with the NGS, and its only been a month.

Keep up the validation. I think its so important for your W to know you are listening to her.

So you got a list of your NGS tendencies you want to improve on. What about the 180s? You have time to work on those things as well so that when she does leave, she will see there is so much value at home that she will miss you and the kids. It's not trying to be manipulative, just honest changes. This will be a trial run and you don't want to be competing against your old self or however she perceives you. You want to be the improved H, someone always working to better himself.

FWIW, when my W had our second son, she wasn't in the mood when breastfeeding too. She didn't breastfeed for long at all and when she stopped that, her drive came back.


She may not be attractive to you now but that can change. You're going through this too, the ups and downs. Allow yourself time to process that and be patient.