Joe, two things strike me from your post. The first is your comment that "cheaters don't deserve any of my attention at all." If you can't get over this, and stop saying it, and things like it, you might as well forget the possibility of reconciliation. The other is her talking about logistic/financial issues with OM. Can you gently suggest to her that this is not an appropriate to discuss with you, and please don't bring it up again?
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17