New thread- Newcomer pre-bomb drop

[Bern19]

Update time.. We had plans Friday night to have some of her work friends over for dinner. After all that happened earlier that day I figured she would have cancelled, but she texted me and asked if she should. I didn't reply right away, but finally did and said they could still come. Probably not a great decision. I ended up getting super drunk... Blackout drunk, which I haven't done since college. Well I guess the wife wanted to look through my phone to see who was helping me keep tabs on her. From what she said, I wouldn't give her my pass code or let her use my finger to unlock it. She told me all this on Saturday morning. She was keeping my phone until I gave her the code and let her look through it. I wasn't in a very pleasant mood, so I told her tuff, she could keep it, and I left.

I just needed some space, so I drove around, got some breakfast and just sat and read. When I got home she was gone. She called one of our kids and asked them to give me the phone. She said she had my phone and wanted to see what I had on there that I was hiding. I told her to come home and we'd look at it together. When she got home I true to unlock it, but she had tried to guess the pass code too many times and the phone had locked down as a security feature. The only way to open it back up is to restore it from the latest backup on itunes. Problem is, the only back up I had done was right before Thanksgiving, on my work computer. Because of the holiday I can't get to my work computer so no restore until Wednesday the 26th. She was mad as a hornet. She said she was convinced that one of her friends was helping me and she had to know who it was. I was so done with the whole fiasco that I told her no one was helping me. The reason I didn't want her to have my phone is she would see that I was tracking her using one of the kids phones. That I knew she was sneaking around town to meet him for 8 mins at the gas station, 13 mins at the marketplace, 15 mins at the grocery store, etc... She said that he had approached her and wanted to rekindle their affair., but she told him she wasn't interested. So why was she stopping off to chat with him???? She doest know. I told her it didn't matter, that even while attempting to be on her best behavior she still couldn't be honest with me.

I could actually see her switch gears and go on the offensive. She was the one that was betrayed because I spied on her. She said ill never be able to trust her and that ill always be wondering. I said yup, so where does that leave us? She actually said I guess well have to see if either if us can get past this. No, really that's what she said. She isn't sure if she can get past me catching her sneaking around town. At that point I knew it was time to stop talking, actually I knew I had made a mistake engaging her at all.

At least I got to stay in my bed. She stayed on the couch. Went to church this morning with the family and just kept to myself. More of the same this afternoon. Only yes or no answers to questions that were about Christmas gifts. Others were avoided or just ignored. I can tell you that Christmas was always my time. I just loved everything about it. Not feel I g it this year. One of the kids is noticing too. Gonna have to step up my game to give them the Christmas they deserve.