My timeline or deadline was forged from my desire for this to be over. Until D16 graduates (a year and a half from now) and then ... and then ... well I don’t know what then. It was more I won’t do anything until then. Ok, good. No divorce, no girlfriend, I’ll stand. Good. So again after graduation - then what?
What I learned is two years, three years, whatever - is a long time. A very long time to not do anything. Some deadline, even far off, looms and presses upon you. You will fixate on that arbitrary date and its effects will be detrimental.
Throw out any timeline or deadline you have. Her healing, her path, will take as long as it takes.
So will yours.
That is really important - So Will Yours.
How can we know a timeline for our healing, espically when in the midst of it.
Live for today, find happiness in the now of everything you do. Do not wait, or think that after some deadline I will be better and will move on then. Live for now.
That does not mean move on. I mean live for R678, find him, heal him.
You do not need to figure out when this will be over, you will know when you want it to be over, and it will not follow some schedule.
You will live for you, you will learn what makes you tick, your beliefs, desires, hopes, and fears. You can become better, compassionate, kind, and lose a need for a deadline. That is a cool place to live. That is probably the only place one can really stand from. It is also the best place to stand down from.
Let go of her, her path, her timeline. Let go of your deadline, your schedule. Just live. There is a schedule, a timeline, a path, we are all on one - it will be revealed as we walk it. Find peace with that idea and you can weather quite a storm, no matter how long it lasts.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
