So couple of things stick out, your career being a teacher, her job and this other guy from work(red flag or no?), your children, her anger, your possible NGS?, your mention of sex a lot, and you seem ready to throw in the towel, and oh, she had a medical condition the first time she didn't pass the test??
I think I remember reading where you said it could be lonely being a teacher. I think this is where GAL comes in to help you a lot. Also if you hadn't read NO MORE MR NICE GUY, I recommend reading it. It helps all guys, even If you barely have NGS. It will help explain the importance of male bonding and that it helps remove your attachment to your W for emotional support. It frees her up from this because you are getting your emotional needs met by other males you bond with. Maybe during your free time, read up on self-differentiation and being centered. Being centered is being balanced with enough separation from your W as well as togetherness. I'd also consider looking into this for your W because of the possible PPD. You both need healthy time away for yourselves. Distance will help make the heart grow fonder as they say.
Keep being a great dad as mentioned by people here. Be awesome at that and hey, if you haven't heard of deliberate disappointment, check into that. It may help with your W getting angry. Sometimes you can only validate so much, other times you have to know when to stand up for yourself, and then you have to know when to admit she's right. You deliberately disappoint her by telling her she is right if she wants to argue with you about something so that when she is being passive aggressive and expects you to get defensive or argue back, you disappoint her by doing the opposite or by agreeing with her.
And as far as what you mentioned in my thread, I don't see any reason why you should get too wrung up if she is away. Enjoy this time being a dad, and be a wonderful dad.
I think once you really start to GAL, that sex talk of yours will go away because I have a hunch its really about intimacy, which is your need for emotional connection. And hey if you just need to, read the NMMNG book, it talks about you making you happy in that area as well.
Early in your post, you said that your W failed the exam due to a medical condition. Was that still present when she got pregnant? I may have missed that. What happened if you don't mind me asking since something seems off with that whole piece.
The possible EA, is this with someone who was on a different coast or her office? I may have gotten confused reading two separate things but trying to piece them together. I will say this, its not uncommon for people to find others of the opposite gender to hang out with at work. In my building, one of the companies pairs their employees up like this, one male, one female and they usually go out together for lunch. My company tried to do something socially like this but it didn't work out. Too conflicting schedules of people for lunch. I had a good female friend I used to go eat lunch with every day. It never turned to anything, but you could tell the girl was into me. She would get flushed red in the face when we were together. Certain parts would perk up, but since it was left up to me, I kept it as friendly. She later moved and I remember the last day, she said so this is it. I was like yup. I had to practice so much self control. Imagine this happening to our W. I don't picture someone practicing that much control. Didn't mean to scare you, but these things are common place, we have to keep moving on. BTW, do not be tempted at your work. I think I recall you talking about harmlessly flirting in another thread talking about alpha male and dominance. Wrong place/group to get your emotional needs met.
It's understandable to be sad. I got a little sad today for the first day in a long while. I dwelled on the fact I can't trust my W when it came to decisions regarding my children. If you read my last post, I couldn't believe she didn't tell my S10 he couldn't stay home, but rather, she had him ask me. I was sort of sad because when she helped put a toy together for my S6 she couldn't follow the instructions on the box so they thought the toy was broken. I had to come in to fix things again. We laughed but I thought about when we'd be separated, my kids will not enjoy another functioning toy again unless we put them together at my place. She's always been so terrible at mechanical stuff. The other day her toilet seat broke off. She is good at ordering it on Amazon, but she asked me for a wrench to fix it. I doubt she even knows what that looks like. We used to have this balance where I did all the manly stuff around the house and she did the other chores. I'd cut the grass outside, she'd clean up the inside. Then we outsourced both of those things and other life's small inconveniences like dropping off dry cleaning became deal breakers... like really, wtf. Excuses to live the single life.
You have a good chance to turn this around. Put in the work.
H 49 , W 47 T 23, M 17 S11, S5 BD: 7/18 IHS: 7/18 - 3/19 Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19 Piecing: 4/19 - Current
