New chapter....with or without her

[ovrrnbw]

Reverted to just texting...still refusing to acknowledge her choices are a huge reason for S troubles

Then leave her out of it. Go be a parent by yourself and quit contacting her. It's seem pursuity and controlling. It's like you're saying "W, you're hurting our son, quit doing this!" But your W doesn't care enough to stop.

When I got termed 3 months ago

Have you gotten another job and started paying on the mortgage again?

Had the meeting today with s teacher and wife tried to dismiss his comments as trying to deflect from him getting in trouble

Could be your W is right. You should tell your son that those statements are BS and he needs to get after it in school. Mom and Dad struggling is no excuse for him to not be hammering away in the classroom.

I believed all the change my S has endured with getting ripped out of the only school district and community he’s known to a completely new environment along with our pending divorce has really impacted him

Seems like pursuit and you trying to control your W. I bet that's how your W sees it. And ultimately it's an excuse for your son who needs to hit the books.

School had a social worker do an evaluation with S today as well and in his responses to some questions he blames himself on W and I splitting...wants his family back, and is just mad. I only know to be the best dad and not bad mouth W in front of him.

A school social worker? No offense but when you're a hammer all you see is nails. Everyone is dangling bait for him to act out and he's taking it - he's a kid! What do you expect? It's like you and your son are teaming up on her.

I also got 7 referrals of childrens therapist from my IC and will be reaching out ASAP.

The best therapy would be him getting after it in school, staying busy with extracurriculars, and running around with his friends enjoying his childhood instead of focusing on his folks' problems.

My full on response will be measured and firm...but WW is about to get smacked with a dose of reality based solely on facts and she will clearly look like the a$$hole.

Not everything your W does is wrong, maybe it was a mistake and maybe not. But why are you trying to read into it? Why are you trying to force reality on her? If she wants to run then she will run from reality. And it's clear you are trying to make her look like the bad guy because you are hurt and super caught up with her and everything she does.

It’s been 9 months since BD...and I’m completely comfortable in my own skin.

You're lying to yourself. Your W is under your skin. You allow her there, you allow her to remain.

She completely brushed over entire 10 yr MR claiming she was “fooled”...WTF??

This could be a legitimate feeling. It may be temporary, it may be lasting. Why wouldn't you validate it? If the folks on the DB board had vetted things perfectly and worked out issues before marriage, there would certainly be less of us here. I can say for a fact that my W and I swept things under the rug. We have always had strong feelings for each and that made it easier, but also contributed to the build up of resentment and caused the sitch. I have no doubt there is some truth in her words, but you simply take offense to them. Think about it logically. You're so emotionally charged.

I believe therapist was able to quickly determine she was full of $hit...

You believe want you want to believe, when it fits your story. Your W does the same, and round and round you two go. Are you ready to break the cycle?

It just confirmed to me that she no longer has any legitimate reason for D ...other then her self serving, self righteousness, and stubbornness to not appear that she is making a mistake.

This line of thinking just brings you more and more pain. I think you guys are both stubborn and self righteous. This doesn't make you a bad person, but right now it is hard for you to work through this because of those attributes.

Now I will call her out on her $hit...and not excuse her behavior.

She lives and will deal with the actions, choices, and decisions. If not careful, may cost her time with only S.

More control behavior. You aren't her daddy, she wants a divorce. It's not your place to "call her out on her $hit".