MLC is not just about the car or the woman or spending...the main ingredient is depression. They are mourning the loss of their youth and are trying to figure out what they missed out on as kids or very young adults. It's about them being emotionally stunted at an early age. It could have been by a parent or an authority figure. They may have not been admired, validated or encouraged in whatever they were doing. They could have been abused or treated as if their feelings did not matter. All of this plays into the MLC.
All of these things are 100% applicable to my H, especially depression, and his low self-worth. Lots of issues in youth - adopted by parents that were emotionally vacant. His mom ended up being bi-polar. I think he's been in a MCL many, many years. He blames it on our inability to develop and/or maintain a "deep emotional connection". Now after all that's occurred, and there is plenty, he doesn't know if he can "give me what I deserve" or recover from his self-loathing. I think he's clinically depressed, also, and has been most of our married life. I pray daily that he will discover God's grace, and begin to heal his soul. Not to R, but for himself.
