LBS dealing with WW (part 6)

[Joe2017]

Can you forgive her? You expressed some doubt about that in earlier posts. That's a very important question you have to answer.

Oh, I have absolutely forgiven her.

I just don't TRUST her. In fact, one of the rules I gave her is that she must call me Joe. There will be no "I love you sweetie" crap. How many dudes has she called sweetie? No, damn it. I'm Joe2017 and you will address me as me.

I feel like a big problem is that I realized I have to forgive myself. I feel sad that I helped let our MR turn into crap. I blame myself for losing the alpha role. I have guilt about what I inadvertently taught my son about what being a man is. Like I said earlier, I never did really deal with these things. Now, I have to. But this will be OK. I am doing fine with it. Every day gets better. This is not even close to as difficult as surviving the D.

Is it a great place to be? In many ways, it is, but only in the context of me being the best version of myself. Having confidence is an amazing thing but I have to be careful to avoid the same pitfalls as the WS and WAS. I remember everyone telling me that WW will realize that the "grass is not greener" on the other side. The problem with this is that I know that until she really really proves herself to me, then the grass really COULD be greener on the other side (for me).

So, I just have to be patient so I can find out for certain that this new woman is the one who deserves me. Does that make sense?