Advice for newcomer pre- bomb drop.

[Bern19]

Ok, update time. I had suspicions that my ww was still seeing the om, even though we were in MC and she insists she isn’t. Today I had the day off. I decided to follow her from work even though I knew it wasn’t likely that they would meet since she knew I was off. We’ll sure enough she drove right to the grocery store parking lot and guess whose truck was there? You guessed it... the OM. I pulled up and there was no one in his truck, so I went around to the other side and opened the WW door and boy was she surprised to see me. Turns out he was in the store and she was waiting for him. I handed her a note that I had written explaining that she had crossed a boundary that I clearly verbalized and that I needed her to move out of our home. She took it and drove off. I stayed behind to talk with OM. That went about as well as expected. He claimed she didn’t even know she was there. I said if that was stalking you she wouldn’t park in the next parking space.

Meanwhile WW is blowing up my phone and I just kept declining the call. When I got home she tried to blow it off as no big deal and that I was over reacting. I asked her if she was going to pack her things, she said no. I said that I guess I’ll have to then. She couldn’t believe that I was that worked up about her just talking to him. I started to explain that it wasn’t just that they were talking, it was that she was still willing to lie to me about it. She’s lied to me and the MC about having any contact with him. Then I remembered that there is no reasoning with her. She’s still in the fog and still attached to him. She said she doesn’t feel anything for him...

I told her that I couldn’t be with someone that is willing to lie to me so easily. That I deserved better and that I should be able to expect honesty, love, and appreciation from my wife. If she wouldn’t leave, then I’ll have to. I told her I wouldn’t be going to her moms for Christmas and she would be coming to mine. Then I said something I regret when I told her she wasn’t welcome to attend church with our family anymore. That was out of line and I’ll have to apologize for that.

Anyway, she had to leave to go back for her mid-day shift and when she walked out she said that I should probably call my IC and tell him I plan on leaving my family because she talked to the OM. She was pretty hot and mentioned something about exposing the fact that she caought me mastubating to porn I’d i out her to our friends... then she left.

So, it’s 4 days till Christmas, do I move out or wait till after the holiday? I want some space, but I have two kids that are young enough to still bank on Christmas as a special time of year. My youngest still believes in Santa... I don’t know what to do... any advice?