I have been searching for forgiveness and it is difficult to do. I am in the angry stage but keeping occupied at work and getting aggression out at the gym. I have been searching for a church home but have been unsuccessful. There is a local one with a divorce support group I may go check out.
I feel betrayed, hurt and cannot believe the love of my life could turn into such a monster. I can't imagine her running off with such a lowlife, and find it hard to accept he may be involved with my kids. This is something I am going to fight hard to stop him from being able to see them. I feel a mother is usually the protective one.
I go through phases of missing her and not caring. Being separated has only made me miss her more. I want to tell her so badly but can't allow myself to do that. This is the time for space and clarity. The holidays only make that harder.......
