MLC husband

[Rita]

Hi, Kate11 -- So sorry you are here but let me say that you sound very clear-headed and kind, that is a great start.

I am crushed with work but wanted to say that it might help to imagine what you would do if a teenager refused to talk to you. You wouldn't take it totally personally, maybe just a little, and you wouldn't expect anything.But you also wouldn't lose yourself and your own politeness, etc. Try that.

If you can pray for your H, do that too. If you don't believe in God, pray to the universe.Give him up, surrender him, ask God or the universe everyday to heal him and take care of him. It will give you some peace.

And the other thing I would suggest is to invite people over as much as possible. I have found this to be the best way to combat the loneliness of MLC and it's much better for the kids. Your H will probably run away or even get mad about it, but to me it's the only way to have any normalcy at home. I am in year 6 of an in-home MLCer. He just filed for D but I am still holding some hope though longing for him to go far away until he comes back. And probably the biggest reason I want him gone is because I want to be able to invite people over all the time.

You sound like a wonderful person, glad to make a new friend and sorry it had to be here. I have such PTSD that I got scared when I saw your name, it was the name of the OW in my sitch. It took me a few minutes to write to you, I was that scared. That's what MLC will do to your mind if you aren't careful, and I am a veteran at this point!