Whirlwind of Hurt 6

[Twofeet]

So in my own LBS fog and paranoia I stated D8 was 8 and some how that would hide my identify. Anyway D8 had her bday and now she is D8. So I got the kids dressed up really nice, and I myself got dressed up. I got a fresh haircut that morning, bought some new jeans, and wore a nice chambray button down with my wool jacket. I looked like your classic rugged American man. I figure apart of my self improvement and self care should entitle me to make more of an effort. Look great to go with feeling great. Anyway my folks and sis and W folks know each are going to be attending dinner at the restaurant. Everyone knows they are all going to be in attendance, and they all know W doesn't know. Reason being D8 has asked for all the family (except W sis and cousins who will be attending the kid party this weekend) and W doesn't want the grandparents to get together. They dont know that W feels like they scheme against her and this feeling occurred during the MR and has gotten worse since BD (bit of a red flag). So W shows up in yoga pants and a zip up hoody and looks tired and worn out. She is little underdressed for such a nice restuarant, and I feel bad for her. She is sitting next to me with D8 between us and she looks VERY unhappy. W has a convo with her parents about getting rid of her dog and they tell her it's not just her dog its D8 dog and it should be up to D8 what W does. This clearly pisses off W. My mom and MIL sit next to each other and have such a good time chatting it up. MIL, FIL, and my mom pass around there phones showing pics of D8 as a baby and sharing memories. My Dad tells a few stories, but doesn't have any pics. Wife gets up and says she has to use the restroom and pulls her phone out of her purse and disappears for 15 min. W hates using public restrooms so if I had to bet money I would bet she called her sister to b!tch. She comes back and sits at the edge of the table. By the end of dinner she was at the very edge of the table barely talking almost on her own island. Occasionally she talks to her Dad. Most of the time she is sitting there like a stick in the mud and texting on her phone. Pretty much everyone just ignored her bad behavior. It was embarrassing. Check came and she said to the waitress she wanted to split out her and D5 dinner (D5 just ate off W plate not a separate order) I told the waitress it's one check. W tried to put up a fight I looked her directly in the eye and said very firmly in a sit down and shut up tone it's one check and I've got it. It stopped her dead in her tracks.

Afterwards, out in the parking lot MIL starts crying to my mom about how they dont want to lose my parents. My mom reassures her that the grandparents arent getting divorced. The grandparents make plans for a get together in January. W helps me buckle the kids up in my rig and walks off. I have to holler at her to get her to comeback and say goodbye. She says it to S3 and D5, walk off again. I have to holler at her again to get her to come back to say goodbye to D8. Mind you this whole time the kids are hollering at her to say goodbye and she is either ignoring them or lost in her own world. W also pulls out a check to pay her portion of D8 bday present. Once I was ready to go I drive around the parking lot and see W car and the in-laws car, but they aren't around. I text W to see if she has the tax documents that she said she was bringing to the dinner. I was supposed to drop them off at our cpa the following morning. On the way home W calls me, and I answer instead of going to voicemail. Bad habit I need to break. W is seething in anger and her voice is shaking. She says TF just leave me alone for the rest of the night. I say ok W, I just forgot to get the tax docs. She says I am not giving them to you. You and the cpa will just have to do without, so just leave me alone tonight, ok? I say I can respect that have a good night. W hangs up. Ofcourse the next morning she is texting me asking me questions about the cpa. My response was to call the cpa because he can explain it better than I can. She also likes to call and leave no voicemail or text. These type of calls get zero response.

Something clicked or a switch flipped in me on the night of D8 bday. My W behavior at D8 bday dinner was just appalling. I still love her, but how can I be so wrapped up and attached to someone who behaves this way, especially around family and on her own daughters bday. I kind of wished that went she stepped away during dinner, that she wouldn't come back. It didn't affect my night or my time spend with the kids or family. I just feel different about her. Some of my other feelings are floating in the periphery, but they are a lot quieter. Maybe this is kind of what detachment feels like. Shrug.