Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 5

[Davide]

So, as part of a longer email dealing with finances and the dog and logistics, etc... my W wrote the following:

"I don't know why... I still feel that we have issues to deal with, not just financial. I still have questions about us, but maybe that is egotistical (ha, that's me) and it's not fair to ask you them. I know that you are trying to leave all this behind and go forward. I admit that I have not been able to turn the page and I would like for us to talk more but I understand if you can't do it. In that case, well I'll have to struggle with my own unresolved issues without understanding your perspective."

God, that is frustrating. I think the worst part is that I am leaving town on Saturday for two weeks to spend time with family and friends over the holidays. The last thing I want is to have a conversation with her hanging over my head. 6 months ago I would have looked at this as a possible opening to discuss R, but I am no longer so naive. She is lost and confused, but still with OM for the past 6 months (so not THAT confused!) She clearly wants closure and a good feeling out of this, while I have been and still am resigned to the fact that I will never get either.

I suppose the DB way would be to have the conversation, listen to her, validate when appropriate, answer direct questions, and listen some more. Part of me simply wants to reply, "Yeah that is pretty egotistical, f#ck off." The other part wants to hear what she has to say, though I know it won't be satisfying in any meaningful way. I know better than to respond when my emotions are aroused, but at the same time tonight or tomorrow would be the only opportunity for us to speak if that is to happen, and I do not want to leave it hanging. I already responded to the logistical questions, with no mention of this part.

Who wants to be the first to hit me with a 2x4?