I understand that the second "first" time really is an emotional experience. Confusing feelings come along.
I know it seems like we have been kind of hard on you, but we do know this isn't so easy and maybe as big brothers and sisters do, we tease a little, but we are trying to protect you. But you are a big boy and don't need it.
All relationships do not end. Sometimes they just simply change, but they don't all have to end.
I'm glad to hear you weren't "grossed out" but I never thought you would be grossed out by someone who wasn't quite your type. Maybe not as attracted, but I truly never expected you to be grossed out. If that was your fear and mindset, I can see why going outside of your norm is daunting. I was grossed out once. And it wasn't by body type alone. It was the unattractive side effects of his self admitted neglected health that did it for me.
Anyways, the only advice you really need to be sticking to is be true to yourself, and everything else will fall into place.
