Just keep busy krull. It hurts. My WW is sitting upstairs. I got home and she is planning a ski trip with the kids. That's fine. But then she says she got tickets for all of us to Aquaman. I dont think I'll go. I need to stay away from her.
Last month I would have jumped at the opportunity and right now I had a convo with my W about going out with them for meals. Told her about how I had to protect my feelings going out together as a family and I know it's not; I'm still not comfortable with it. I reserve that right, but I will say this, if you truly know you are done, and if you had signed some paperwork saying you're D, would you then be able to go with W and kids? I think I would, so the question for me is this, am I not going because I am being reactive or am I really still trying to figure my feelings out? I want to be in a place where I still reserve the right but where my going or not going has nothing to do with her.
I want to be with my kids but I really do not like being around her. I need to protect myself. Shes still in her A. Shes not my wife right now. I honestly am thinking that I would most likely be better off leaving her for good right now. I care for her. But I cant truly say I love her anymore. I cant love someone who betrayed me so badly.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
