Yeah, Dave, what I found out with my husband is that I have to use the most absolutely correct and clinical language with him. He is such a smart man, and yet his grasp of what I am saying seems to be nonexistent. The clinical language makes everything VERY non-intimate but it leaves no room for doubt.
For instance, I think you should say to your wife: "When I asked for your initiation, I was speaking of initiating sexual intercourse. What kind of initiation were you thinking of?"
Phrases like 'sexual intercourse' give me the creeps but there it is. Anything less and he's confused by what I am requesting of him.
Perhaps your wife thought you were referring to initiating affection...? That is possible. I know that I have a tendency to cloak my language when speaking to H because I know that it makes him uncomfortable and graphic language makes him feel pressured and like a failure. So I will say things like, I want to be closer to you. I am not satisfied with our frequency, do you think we can try twice a week?
Well in the absence of me saying, SEX or INTERCOURSE or MAKING LOVE he could very well interpret it as me wanting him to be more affectionate.
So that's my advice. Get clinical with her.
If you already WERE that way and she still misunderstood, well then that is a whole 'nother ball of wax!
