Came home rather late today—had a foot doctor appt and then a dentist appt back in the area in which we used to live. SoCal traffic being awful, it took me a long while to get home. I’m normally home between 4:30–4:45 most days, but today I was home closer to 6:00 (4:00 p.m. dentist appt. lasted until 5:00-ish).
What was probably my first mistake in all this was sending W a text message as I was leaving dentist to tell her I’m leaving now, will be home a little after 6:00. Then I start driving—her response (did not check message until after I got home)? Guess I’ll change out of my running clothes.
I get home, and she’s holding YS while making dinner. Here’s the long and short of it—she tells me she needs me home, that there is a lot that needs to get done around the house, and that she wanted to go out for a run this afternoon but couldn’t because I got home so late.
I tried to validate her, but it didn’t go anywhere. What I should have done is hit the eject button and tell her that I can’t talk with her while she is so upset with me, that we can talk later when she is less upset.
She then tells me that I’ve been coming home after 5:00 for the last month or so, and that I’ve been really terrible at communicating the last couple of weeks. That she didn’t have any input on going out for our anniversary—that maybe she wanted to do a different week or a different night like Friday, or choose what to do or where to go, but that I just went ahead and made a reservation.
I finally did extricate myself from the conversation. But oy.
She needs me around, huh? That’s really hilarious, considering how she’s talked about how she’s not even sure she wants to be married to me, how perhaps we may need to take a break and separate, and that she doesn’t bat an eyelash at going away for days, weeks, or even months (like this coming Sept—Dec) for work, and I get to teach 6 classes of religion and handle child care and the household (but this coming fall, it will be for 2 children under 6).
She needs me so much and talks about walking on our marriage vows? She needs me so much around here but she goes away for work all the time. Jfc woman.
If she challenges me about this weekend’s dinner, I’ll say “I’m sorry you feel that way. I was really looking forward to having dinner with you then, as I made reservations. If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to, but that means you can put the boys to bed as I’ll just go out, and you can join me if you want.”
