Getting Mixed Signals - New Thread

[Living]

Question,

In my old thread I posted that I asked my H what would happiness look like for him, since he says he’s unhappy. His answer was:

*he would do things he enjoys
*he would go fishing
*he would go hunting
*he would take a long ride to another state on a whim
*he would join a bowling league
*he would take the kids camping (but then he said he missed that opportunity because they are now older)
*he would build something

Can anyone answer this question for me...why isn’t he currently doing any of these things?

Oh this is easy to answer. Because of YOU. YOU are the one thing that's holding him back from truly enjoying life. YOU are the roadblock. YOU YOU YOU. This is how WAS's think. Their spouse becomes a lightning rod for every little thing that ever went wrong. They resent the hell out of their spouse, and can't wait to get rid of them to pursue their life of pure freedom and abundant joy. Eventually they get their freedom only to discover that all their problems are STILL THERE because their problems are not external, they are internal. Then they (hopefully) go about the hard work of addressing their demons. Either that or they pursue a life of escapism through multiple partners, free-wheeling spending, addictions and such.

I truly believe what you’re saying AnotherStander, it makes perfect sense. I do however still feel that the guy is suffering from depression as well. I truly hope that he deals with his demons and does the hard work before it’s too late. It would truly be sad to see him throw the rest of his best years away by being addicted to alcohol or drugs or by jumping from relationship to relationship. Unfortunately that’s a decision he has to make, I can’t make it for him. I am glad that he’s going to therapy and I hope that helps.

I’ll be honest and say, I truly love my H and I hope for the best. I hope that we can come through this journey and that our relationship gets stronger because of it. Unfortunately the ball is not in my court.

Thanks so much for your input AS, it always makes me sad because it’s a gut punch. But I still appreciate it.