I have been thinking of what to get W for Christmas, if I do get her anything. I was thinking of giving her some cash along with a note along the lines of not forcing love and setting her free and whatnot. But I go back and forth.
This is part of the reason why the D rate is so high because you are 7 months in and make this statement. That statement is insane 7 months in that means you haven't listened to anything anyone ha told you. Most people by the time they get here have done a ton of damage and most continue to make the same mistakes seven months in.
Originally Posted by pain18
I spend a good portion of my day on these forums, checking messages, giving updates, and reading and inputting to other folks' sitches. My heart sunk when I stumbled upon a post that said that 90% of the folks who post here end up getting divorced. The other 10% were just fortunate that things somehow started to work out.
I made that statement and I do not have the numbers to back it up. Based on my perception of being here for 4 years.
Originally Posted by pain18
Is it still considered being attached if I still hold on to hope? No you can be detached and hold onto hope. As long as it doesn't effect you from moving forward in your life. I wouldn't say I hold onto to hope but if my ex was to come to me and commit to doing the work on my terms I would consider a reconciliation. It doesn't stop me from living my life.
[quote=pain18] I also referred to my previous posts and always question myself if there was true progress being made or if I was fooling myself. I know now that it's all one big question mark.
Depends on what you mean. Progress in yourself? Most likely if you are putting in the work. Progress with W? Not if she is in an affair.
Originally Posted by pain18
For folks who have gone through this and who can confidently say that nothing is guaranteed, it is something that they had to find out the hard way. No matter how many people told them hard it is going to be, or how nothing was guaranteed, nothing will become reality until the LBS can fully grasp the awfulness of their situation and truly let go.
You don't believe it now but you will get to a point where you will realize that you are done with the BS and move on.
