Getting Mixed Signals - New Thread

[Living]

Question,

In my old thread I posted that I asked my H what would happiness look like for him, since he says he’s unhappy. His answer was:

*he would do things he enjoys
*he would go fishing
*he would go hunting
*he would take a long ride to another state on a whim
*he would join a bowling league
*he would take the kids camping (but then he said he missed that opportunity because they are now older)
*he would build something

Can anyone answer this question for me...why isn’t he currently doing any of these things? No one is stopping him. If doing these things is what he says would make him happy, why isn’t he doing them? Like some of these are pretty simple things.

I’ve been GAL and he just sits at home. He goes to work and comes home. That’s it. It’s just so confusing. Like on the weeken buddy, why not go bowling or something?

This to me screams of depression. It's WANTING to WANT to do things, but not actually wanting to do them.

Right! Like these are simple things. His therapist and my therapist both think he’s suffering from depression as well. And having a daughter that suffers from depression, I believe he is as well. He’s displayed a lot of symptoms of depression. He even talked of understanding why someone would commit suicide. Although, he said he’s not suicidal.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I really think my H hasn’t been the same since his father passed away. I think that is what pushed him into MLC and opened up some childhood issues that he had suppressed. When I really think back, his behavior started to slowly decline after my father in law passed away.

I noticed that he was drinking a lot a few weeks ago. I believe self-medicating. The good thing is I think he realized this so he’s backed away from the alcohol thank God. His father was an alcoholic and I know he’s always been conscious of that fact. He always said he didn’t want to become a alcoholic.

So I’ve been just taking care of myself, my mental health, and well-being. When he comes to talk up me, I just listen. That’s the only thing I can do. Just take care of me and listen if he needs to talk.

Anyway, I know this time of year is tough for so many of us on this forum, so I want to wish everyone a happy holidays!