Hi Kate. Sorry you find yourself here but also glad you found us. I know I would be doing so much worse if I hadn’t found this board. Re: MC. Honestly... I would skip it for now. MC only really works if both people are going with the same goal in mind. Your H has clearly said it won’t work. I’d believe him. He is not in the frame of mind for it to work. He will only go to prove to you it is a pointless endeavour and you will have wasted your money and time. It could also make things worse and give him more resolve to continue down the path he has started on.
My best advice would be to do what everyone on here will advise you to do. GAL...DB... for you. Steer clear of R talks and do your 180s. Figure out your part in all of this and try to change those things. Act “as if”. Your H is still in the home so you have a great opportunity here to turn things around. My H was gone before I even knew what was happening so I didn’t get that chance. Take advantage. Let him go. Stop pursuing him (even in subtle ways) as it will force him to double down on his position. I know it is hard. I know everything in you wants to hang on and convince him he isn’t seeing things clearly. He thinks he is and you telling him the opposite will only make him more sure. I wish I had had this information in the beginning...things might be different. Heed the advice on here and try your very best to put it into action.
Very difficult to go through this at any time of year let alone the holidays. Sending you lots of (((Hugs))). Good luck!!!
