Davide, Nicole and LW thank you for the boost you guys. I wanted to give an update on my sitch and I think some 2x4s are needed at this point. WH and I have been in frequent touch the last few weeks due to the Ds birthday celebrations, settlement discussions etc. The air has cleared out so much, it may just be that I am feeling better or it may actually be that we are at least communicating better. Last week when he called during our discussion I did tell him that I am not dating anybody yet but will definitely move forward with my life post D. He just said he is not in that frame of mind, he fudging clearly is still deep in his A and his denial makes him say I am the one moving on. I had a birthday party for my Ds and he was present, it went amazingly well and everyone had so much fun. He was aloof but I invited him because my D will want both her parents by her side on her special day. I was happy, upbeat and most people who didnt know couldnt even tell we were going through a D. Couple of days ago when I was talking to D on the phone while she was with him she mentioned about OWs daughter, I wasnt interested in carrying on with the convo anymore so I gently wished a good night to D and cut the call. He texted me back saying it was just his friend's D and he doesnt want me misunderstanding anything there. This man is still in complete denial and will go to any lengths to prove there is no A. Yesterday we texted back and forth about the financial settlements, I was quick in my repsonses because I just want it all settled at this point. During the texting convo I said, all I want at this point is financial security for our Ds so we can both move on our own separate paths without any baggage. I wished him luck with the pursuit of his happiness and told him I am in my own way happy where I am today. There was no response from him to this. I did not mean to pursue with the above statements and I may be anti DB rules but I really did mean all that I said. He still seems to be severly depressed, he should be for the fool that he has been, but I do feel sorry for him. Not in an overwhelming loving way but like I would for any friend of mine. While I am far from fully healed I do feel good most days, its almost 10 months to BD and 5 months to physical S. May be it looks like pursuit to him or maybe it feels like I am trying to move forward. Either way I dont care as much as I used to, for the first time in one year I really have my power back and the dynamics between us is more on even keel. I may have softened in my own approach because once he decided to stay back for the kids he is really trying to be a good dad, part time albeit. He has switched the parental days for the kids quite a bit and most times if it works for me I agree. I still dont want a D but at this point I am more disappointed than sad if that makes sense.
