Shake hands, we shall never be friends . . .

[peacetoday]

Im sorry-reading it makes me spin
this is just my opinion

Sounds like he is expecting you and time to stand still-
he feels safe keeping you at bay-he wont have to grieve until everyone leaves

he cant let go- and in his mind after son graduates maybe he will be able to let go
BUT he cant except time is moving- he is still getting older and everyone and everything around him is changing, growing forward except him

he stands still and can make no progress, no movement. nothing

he thought upon leaving-the euphoria of freedom and OW would fuel him forever
but has only lead to a living hell-because he cant move forward-

Obviously, he is not thinking clearly to advise his D to use drugs-
he is most likely addicted and unable to control it
and addiction only leads to disaster unless it is stopped permanently

Im sorry I don't have a solution as how you can move out of this
except in energy..
you can move forward as you are by continuing to accept, take care of yourself, raise your kids and grow inwardly

I don't believe you will be M forever- meditate daily for guidance
it will come clear to you-

all the best