Guys, I’m not hurting nearly as much as I was a couple weeks ago. I’ve been pretty calm and even keel now for about 10 days or so. I’ve accepted that D is probably a 99% probability. I don’t have any expectations that anything will change. I’m tired of trying to do “something” and focusing on saving the M. I’m now doing nothing and just continue down my path. I pray for strength, courage and trust in Him. I’m no longer praying for a miracle or for my W to finally see the light.
Wanted, it's a roller coaster with a LOT of ups and downs. One moment you're feeling good and just accept the outcome, the next moment a memory comes up and reminds you of your sitch and derails you for a few days. Some people are better at riding it out until it is over. Others, like me, feel the highs and lows of this. Just this morning, as I was going to my car, I laughed that I was going through the 5 stages of grief quickly and repeatedly. Just last week, I was livid at WW's actions. I skipped the bargaining and hit depression (though that was exacerbated by our talk two days ago). Pretty soon, I'll be accepting. Then I end up going back to denial and starting the whole cycle again.
Just be mindful and have outlets to have emotional moments when needed. It's ok to backtrack your feelings. Sometimes, it's necessary.
