My Story Pt 2

[Manta]

Hi Nicole, yes a few. Some of my work colleagues don't know and asked: "how is WW keeping, what's your plans for Christmas?"..... Obviously, i just said that we are having marital issues at the moment and i don't really want to talk about it. Overall, the party was fun. But i wanted to go home once it got late.

I'm blessed to have really good friends. Friends from all different parts of my life, growing up, school, college, and others from sport and traveling.

I'm still deeply hurt and humiliated. I feel everyone means well, but they sometimes try to make comparisons.

"Oh when I was in college, my exGF cheated" etc.

I find it hard to relate, as this is a marriage. Of all my friends, I'm the only one I know right now, who's wife cheated, left him for another man and doesn't want to reconcile. My close friends and family have all said the same thing.

"She's lost it, this isn't normal behavior after 2 years married"

The fact it's over 2 and a half months since she said "I want a divorce", she hasn't filed.

Maybe that gives me a little hope. Also, she hasn't contacted me in over 2 months. 2 months NC. I haven't messaged her. No begging, no pleading, nothing. I'm detached, GAL and focusing on my work, keeping healthy, praying and just trying to stay grounded.

I remember years ago before we really dated, she disappeared for over 5 months of NC, then returned and said "I love you, I'm sorry".. Thing was we were long distance then, not really dating. However, now we're married, the game is changed. I have no idea what's she's doing for Christmas, is her family talking to her anymore? Are the natural consequences now beginning to affect her and AP?

I'm just sad. I never thought loving someone, would bring so much pain. I don't even know anymore what I would say to her if she returned.