Today is so busy so I dont have much time or time to proof read. I will be back tho. I want to first say that I really like you based on what I read. Why? Because you remind me of my H. He is a pretty extreme NG too. We talk a lot on these boards about the bad qualities of it and how women don't like "beta males" (whatever the heck that means), but we don't talk about the positives that come along with it. There are many. You have an open heart, you are loyal, and you genuinely want to understand people. I like that about you. IMO many of the posters here that think they have NGS really don't. That was a bit off topic. The issue for you now is that you have continued to allow your WW to disrespect you and have a relationship with you without her having changed. And you continue to do so. Each day, week, month that this goes on, you are teaching her that you do not deserve to be treated better. I want you to really think about it. You are knee deep in this drama and it's getting harder for you to remove yourself now. This is why I lined up all of those questions for you to answer. I want you to really think about your sitch and where this is leading. I also really want you to dig deeper and think about why you are allowing this to happen. How people allow others to treat them speak volumes about how the see themselves and their worth.
I know I am hard on you. I like you and I care. But I think you are enabling your own messy sitch and enabling her wayward behavior. I think it's time to toughen up and put her aside for now. You, your health, and your happiness should always be first and foremost. How you decide to do that is up to you. You deserve a partner that is as loyal and compassionate as you are. The thing is, you have to show yourself the same loyalty and compassion. Have you thought about telling her that this drama is really wearing you down, that this current dynamic is not working for either of you, and that you need a break? And then sticking to it? Sure, she will throw a fit, pout, or act like a child (you already know that), but you can certainly be the grown up in this and tell her that you are serous this time. Then you need to really stick to it!!! Stand firm. Words are meaningless if the actions do not support them. You can teach her to treat you better, but it takes a long time, especially after enduring her abuse/lies for this long.
The reason I say all this is because it appears hard for you to detach, 180, GAL, when she is right there in your face kicking up drama every chance she can get. Something to think about. The details of how this happens, I do not know. First, you have to believe in it. Then you have to execute. Continuing on THIS crazy train is only leading in one direction. Crazy town.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
