Today is crazy busy and I dont have time to read everything and write a thorough response. I wish I did!Sorry to rush in and out. ... I did want to make sure to be clear that I feel no resentment about anything and you do not owe me any explanations! We are good (from my view point), sister! I honestly do not feel much emotional investment in posting here in general, but more so, I simply want to offer support and advice based on my own experiences. I have followed your threads and I have seen where I think you are stuck and it is preventing you from moving forward and detaching. I don't think it would be a good use of your time to go back and reread anything.
I do think it would help you to really take in and analyze the common themes and advice between posters. IMO, that is accepting the reality of who your H is now, verses who he was before, and to stop longing for what you used to have and how you imagine it could be. I think we all agree that you are an intelligent, caring and very likable person based on what we know. You deserve a partner in life that values you and your relationship. None of us are able to see that your WH can offer you that any longer. I tend to believe that the posters here that are "successful" at DBing are not necessarily the ones that have saved their M, but more so are the people that have done some soul searching, detached from an unhealthy relationship and are moving into the future stronger and with more optimism. I do not believe there is any marriage saving program that can actually "save a marriage," because we can never control another person.
I'll be back when things slow down. I truly mean no harm and wish you the best. You are still young and have so much to offer, and you and your D deserve so much better than WH could ever provide at this point. So for now, GAL GAL GAL as best you can and in every way possible, and in time you will have that increase in confidence if you have faith in yourself. You gotta first believe it!
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
