13 years and 2 kids pt. 3.

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

So basically I am still sick, which means it has been a bit tough doing GAL. I have been keeping to myself in MBR when kids are sleeping, and I feel like I need to get out more. It feels like I am being cut off from using the house, watching tv in the evening (no tv in MBR), because I have chosen to cut her out of time with me. I don't feel like a winner in this situation and she seems to be really happy with having the living room for herself. Maybe when im well and am able to go out more I won't feel like excluding myself from her feels like she gets to roam the house and I get to "hide in the MBR".

When the kids are awake and home from daycare, I focus all my energy on them, and yesterday even with a fever, we went for a walk (refreshing), and afterwards we sat down and had fun with play dough for an hour. Whenever we do these activities, WW will leap in, and join in as she would in the past - It annoys me, but I keep my cool because I know it annoys me because of what she currently is to me and has done to me, but yet I know she is the mother of my children, and that they really enjoy when she does things with them.

Yesterday she said that if I wanted to, then we could still change it back, so both our names are on the gifts for the kids (I said I would buy gifts for the 24th and she could buy hers for the 23rd). I said no thanks.

Later she came in, knocked on MBR door and said that she was buying calendars with the kids pictures for her family, and if she should order for my family as well - again I said no thank you.

Her phone was also on the counter in the kitchen, and (SNOOP ALERT, DETACH YOU DUMBAS"S"), there was a messenger message from one of her girlfriends, and it didn't show everything but it said "Oh I'm so sorry. Do you feel more sad than when you were together with Hurt213? If you need to get out of the house, please feel free to come over"<-- Dont know what the fk that was all about. Shouldn't care. Guessing she is just sad about the time of year and all that is going on, and her friend tried to see if it compared with the sadness the apparently felt when she was together with me.

So, today I heard from her once, she texted and said she would be home for dinner, at least for tonight, and that she wanted our phone providers name so she could change our family phone subscription and get her own subscription, because that is what she needed now that we were splitting up. I texted back and hour later with (I already changed the subscription) <--- I did this a week ago, she just haven't paid attention, and since we have paid in advance, she won't be getting billed until next month. I know she should have done this herself, but yea, I just didn't want to contribute to her new life with my money, so I removed her, and got her back on the subscription she had prior to us merging subscriptions (she won't mind - I don't care.)

So now im in the living room, WW is at gymnastics with the kids.
Tonight there is a killer movie on TV, and I really want to see it, but guess im in MBR hiding it out lol!

/H