I agree with you IH, I think she is struggling. However, I don't agree that she hasn't tucked you into the friendzone. As I said this reminds me a lot of the dynamic between "Not That Into Me" and me. I think she struggled internally with me too. There were times she wanted to want more, but then the fear of losing my friendship, or the lure of another guy, or my hesitation to act due to not wanting to ruin things, or any other number of factors came into play. Years later she admitted she should have been with me and forgotten anyone and anything else. But she didn't.

Just like your EX, I think she always knew I was a great catch, and she always knew that longterm stability and security was assured with me, but there was some X factor that was missing.

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But yes, I do agree she knows I'm the one for her...I think she never really accomplished what she wanted in Florida...she never lived on her own off her own steam and that seems to be the schism she has regarding R...that she would have to give all that up.


If any of this is true then I would run for the hills away from her. We aren't talking about a 20 something that is still finding her way. This is a grown butt, 44 year-old woman. For crying out loud, if she doesn't know what she wants yet then SHE NEVER WILL. And if that is true then getting back together with her would be just setting yourself up for BD #2.

Also, if this is part of it: "I think she never really accomplished what she wanted in Florida." then I again would not even entertain it. Why? Because Florida was Plan A......which means all you can ever be is Plan B.

IH, i was pulling for the two of you more than anyone because I so wanted to have a recent example of a WAW that went through with D and came back after 4 years to a fairy-tale, happily ever after ending with LBH. But based on all of the recent interactions, discussions, and activity (and take this with a grain of salt because you are closer to it than I am!), I think she still is struggling with many of the same issues that made her a WAW to begin with. IOW: While you have grown immensely over the last 5 years....she has not.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018