WAWs get wild hairs that grow and it becomes the most important thing at that moment. I've often told the story of my W spending half of a Saturday working on her resume after I gave an ultimatum of complete transparency or we are done. (She is a SAHM.) That night she had a night of contrition, second thoughts, and "why are we doing this". I listened and validated. She never touched her resume again.
That's why staying busy (GAL) is so important. "Sorry, can't talk now." Likely she'll cool her jets. She made her goal in urgency clear: "don't want to fight in court". WAW speak for "I want the D to be as smooth and pain free as possible."
I'd suggest a free consultation with a lawyer. Then next time it comes up you can say "Anything we discuss will need to be reviewed by my lawyer. In fact, do you have a lawyer? I'd prefer we keep the conversations about D between them."
This does two things:
1) It burst her D fog of a painless, smooth D. Do not overlook the power that this can have. When they think you are just going to capitulate because you don't want the pain yourself, they glamorize the D process in their mind.
2) It shows her that you are going to stand up for yourself.This is especially effective if you've suffered from NGS in the past. She is expecting you to just give in to her in the spirit of trying to convince her you are a nice guy and don't deserve this. (Trust me, NGS isn't a good place to be for a guy, but don't think the WAW won't use it to their advantage!)
My vote, delay. Let her cool her jets. In the mean time go get a free consultation. And then next time it comes up you can start talking about your lawyer.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
