Divorce and Acceptance part 3

[Pax_luv]

Pinn!!! Xoxoxo

Appreciate the words. I’m sorry to hear that you have that mental model as well. It’s not fun! So how do we get over it? Do we practice it by accepting ourselves wholly? I feel like I can do all the positive self talk in the world to try and do this....it’s just when other people come in to play and I get all neurotic about being totally ensuring I’m totally authentic and still not being good enough.

I don’t know about you Pinn, but I guess something in me is telling me that I really do want to find myself in another serious relationship soon. I’ve been on my own now for so long (3.5 years) minus a few flings here and there, that I think I can handle the real deal in terms of a long term relationship. I guess it’s hard with the fact that i still have so much divorce drama.. I’m technically not totally free, but dang have I done the work on myself..: I should be free.

So now that I think I’m ready, I’m forced to confront the next level of self discovery and reflection. I think I have to remember that hopefully I’ll be with a guy who is super special and who adds value to my current life vs me worrying about if I’m good enough for somebody... that gives too much power and control to someone. And that is not something I want to do. I just don’t want to relive those feelings and behaviors of just pretzeling myself because I’m “stronger” in whatever aspect so i automatically conform. Not even sure if I’m making sense.


Ok enough of that...

Nothing too much to report otherwise. Asked my lawyer to handle some tasks for me because I just don’t have it in me to try and get ex to cooperate with me on something. Of course myawyer obliged and he was way more efficient than I would have been. I guess that’s the price for sanity. I need it! Clearly I’m alover the place. Ohhhh bother.

Anyway, got some legal stuff going on this week balanced with lots of holiday parties. On Wednesday, I’m going to be dropping off a ton of gifts for a family we “adopted” for Christmas. I already know that is going to be a really emotional experience. Even reading the details about the family made me cry...I’m sure I’ll be a mess actually meeting them in person.