3 years pieced and still a work in progress!

[Adam04]

Hi Blu,

For one, Happy 14 Anniversary! I hope you found some renewed energy from this and not the other way around. These markers/milestones are usually times of reflection and looking towards the future. I wish you much happiness.

You have your anniversary and the holidays, the vacation you spoke of and a lot is thrown at you. It is exhausting. What happened to time away from the spouse so that you can re-center yourself? Has that been done? If so, does it help? Apologies for not having read your sitch yet, have read most of this thread.

When you talked of your BFF and her relationship, there was a spark in your writing. I felt it(maybe it's just me because I am attaching my W to it). I felt as if my WW was living that life and she chose someone else over me because I could no longer be the person she had passion for. When you talked of your H, it wasn't on the same level. I sense the appreciation but something still missing. What do you need and is that need being expressed or met? I think I am saying or asking what Maika has asked in a slightly different light. You brought up he may or may not read this one day, what does that do to this dialogue now? You won't refrain from anything will you? I snipped out some stuff about the NGS, well a lot of it.

As articulate, strong, and self-aware as you are, is it a different type of challenge now from "saving" to "making better" or is it all the same? I see you in a dominant role. From NMMNG, whole attracts whole, and broken attracts broken. I read somewhere else that alphas attract alphas of the opposite sex. Do you put any stock in this or feel that way and how is it affecting R? Are you both connected on the same level yet? Can you confide in him and is it better or not the same? I hope this isn't too personal and if the questions are answered in previous threads, please let me know. I'm curious about growth and what happens when there is change and how that dynamic between two people play out.