Wife in MLC, I think

[LB55]

Thanks for the advice. This has always been a tough spot for us, gift giving. I was raised in an environment where I knew too much about my parents finances and even as an 8 year old, knew what they could and could not afford. I never asked for what I actually wanted, and I rarely got what I wanted. Go figure. They probably could have made it work, but I would never ask out of fear of their situation. I won an academic contest in 5th grade, best amongst 38 contestants, I was offered a reward by my parents, you know what I asked for? A box of mini wheats cereal. I get anxious to this day thinking about gifts. It is sad and fundamentally wrong. It isn't about cost, it is about fear of someone not liking what I got them. I have said before I have problems to fix too.

Opposite of me, my wife grew up with gifts for everything under the sun day, so the concept of getting or giving gifts at Halloween or Easter was completely lost on me. She does cards for all of the days, hallmark loves her. Needless to say, this has caused strife on more than one occasion. An easy area to improve upon, I admit. I just kept doing the same thing, letting her get gifts for everyone, ncluding my family, and just putting our name on it. Laziness on my part, fear, excuses, whatever you want to call it. Won't make this mistake again, in this R or others in the future.

Which leads me to my point. I would love to get her something from the kids. However I am 1000 miles away, she has taken away their iPads. That is their form of communication, and I can't go shopping for them, she would see right through it. I advised him to apologize for the behavior that caused him to lose his iPad, make no excuses, and see if he could get it back. We will see, because when I asked him if he had apologized, he said 'mom didn't ask me to yet'. Come on, kid!

I will work to find them something for W from them. I may still get something for her, but hold it in reserve because I cannot be one to not have anything if she got me something. It would be a 180 for me to have something, she wouldn't expect that. Again, Thanks for the advice. You all are great!