3 years pieced and still a work in progress!

[BluWave]

Tomorrow is our 14 year wedding anniversary. Wowza! I met my H almost 18 years ago. Still strange to think we have been in each others lives for so long. It's been a crazy ride, but I recognize how fortunate and blessed I have been overall. He is a nice guy, but also a reforming one. And I feel like I am turning another good corner myself. I do not think it is because of our dynamic changing, but more so that I am changing my perspective quite a bit. That is all we can control, right? I emphasize the importance of that to posters and I do try and take my own advice. Even tho my M is surviving, I still work on myself and DB to an extent. I see it as a way of life -- letting go of expectations, seeing what is in front of you verses what you want to see, and giving up control of people and situations. Sounds easy, but it is not. It does get easier with practice. And then GAL starts to get more fun and not feel so contrived.

I know the holidays can be hard for many of you here. I remember during my sitch, getting my girls ready to go with their papa on Christmas Eve and then having to face it without my family and inlaws. I dressed up the girls, packed their bags, and put on my brave face. As soon as he took the girls, I fell to the floor and just sobbed. Then I picked myself up, turned on some holiday music and wrapped presents. That night I went to dinner with my BFF and her family and had a nice evening. The girls were returned in the morning and we had our Christmas morning without him. I survived! And it was actually okay. I am giving myself a pat on the back now, because I sure didn't back then. Plus, I got to hold my head up high and he looked (and felt) like the total chithead he was.

That doesn't feel like yesterday anymore. It feels like 4 years ago, because it was. Onward and upward. It takes two people to own their mistakes, to be willing to change, and to make it work. I am lucky to have that. But as MWD says, "It takes one to tango." You can still enjoy your holidays without your M intact, even if only some of it. I promise. I hope and wish for you all that you give yourself permission to do that!

Love,
Blu