Moving on to the Bright Side Part 13

[Dawn70]

Ok, so let me see if I understand what I'm reading. You meet this woman online and she's not your "usual" type, but you hit it off anyway and have 3 dates in a week. She's told you from early on that she doesn't have sex unless she's in a relationship and while there's been varying degrees of discussion about that here, you have said repeatedly that her actions are following her words. You have pretty much thrown all the advice that you and some of the others tout from the "coach" out the window by the number of dates, lots of contact on the phone, a lunch date mid-week, etc. I am one of the first ones to say to each his own and people have to do what is right for them and I FIRMLY believe that. If the advice this coach gives works for you, by all means, follow it. If she chooses to NOT have sex outside an R, then by all means she should stick to her guns on that.

You continue to tell us she's firm on the no sex until R then you tell us you are getting STD tested so that she will feel comfortable having sex with you. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........so we pressed you on that and you basically said it was so you would have that out of the way if/when it came time. Ok, I can go with that.

But now, you basically say that because she keeps blowing up your phone you are going to "take another run at it". You romantic devil, you....we women so love when men "take a run at us." I think it was LH that said women in their 40's love sex. ABSOLUTELY! I totally get the whole portrayal of the 40-something oversexed divorcee and why cougars are so sought after by younger men. TOTALLY understand those.

So, I'm very, very confused at this point. You say you don't want an R, she's not your usual type but you seem to like her ok, you refuse to have an R talk and say if she brings it up, you will shut it down, but now you are going to try to somehow coerce her to have sex (which is how I interpret "take another run at it" and if that is misinterpreted, I totally apologize). I'll say this, whether you meant it that way or not, it came across awfully disrespectful of her boundaries and of her in general and I don't really think you are that guy.

If you want an R, but for whatever reason you are scared of pursuing one, you need to be honest with yourself and her about that. If you truly don't want an R and you just want to get laid, do this woman a favor and leave her alone because I think you are playing with fire and one of you (or possibly both) is gonna get burned. There are plenty of slutty fish in the sea that will gladly hop in bed with you then walk away.