Yes, as a woman nearing my 40's (oh God, did I just say that?!) Depending where I am in my life at that time, consensual sex without a relationship as an adult doesn't make me a slut. it's a personal choice. personally, I never ever have sex with multiple people at once and I have only even dated one person at a time. If I am interested in someone I am certainly not sleeping with someone else. ANd I make it sound bad, but I have been a single adult for nearly 10 years. I have averaged 1-2 guys a year. Nothing insane. But for 10 years the numbers add up. But I felt no need to remain celibate because I wasn't in a committed R.
But in the same breath, this is my CHOICE and what is right for me. And what is right for me may not be right for others. There are women who will only have sex if they are in a committed relationship. Heck, they may not enjoy it if they aren't. They might not want to feel like a slut even if they shouldn't. They may have had a bad experience.
My point is neither is wrong, it's what is right for that individual.
But J- she is telling you she only has sex in a relationship. And you are saying you don't want one right now. So why would you pursue sex? Sounds like this is exactly what keeps happening to her. Men aren't respecting her boundaries, and she is a little naïve as to what these guys are doing to her. You are on completely different pages right now. Because she calls you everyday you think you are owed sex? You are going to push for it, even though she made it clear she only wants to have sex if she is in an R?
I kind of feel bad for her. She is a grown woman who is naïve to guys crossing her boundaries to get some. Then she wonders why her R's don't make it past the 3 month point.
Why don't you find a woman on the same page as you as to not put her through this cycle again? It's obvious you are itching to get laid, and that is fine and comes with no judgment. It's where you are seeking it that comes with some judgment.
it's like you both want eachother to want the same things and be on the same page, but neither of you are. Why force it and risk hurting her?
